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How can you tell if a toy is nervous?
It's all wound up.

How did the piano get out of jail?
With its keys.

How do angels answer the phone?

What do you do if you're trapped in a candy store and it floods?
Grab a Life Saver.

What did one candle say to the other candle?
Are you going out tonight?

What do space aliens eat for breakfast?
Flying Sausages.

What is the tallest building in your city?
The library - it has the most stories.

Why do clocks seem so shy?
Because they always have their hands over their faces.

What did one knife say to the other knife?
You're looking sharp today!

What did the cuffs say to the collar?
Sleeve us alone.

Why did the candle fall in love?
Because he found the perfect match.

Why did the cop run across the baseball field?
Someone stole second base.

Why are spiders good baseball players?
Because they are good at catching flies.

Does it take longer to run from first base to second, or from second to third?
From second to third, because there is a shortstop in the middle.

Where does a catcher sit for dinner?
Behind the plate.

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