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What did the banana bandits say when they got caught?
Let's split!

Did you hear about the big fight at the candy store last night?
Two suckers got licked.

What kind of candy do kids eat on the playground?
Recess Pieces.

Why are flowers so lazy?
Because they always lay in bed.

What did the dirt say when it began to rain?
If this keeps up, my name will be mud.

What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?

What's faster, heat or cold?
Heat - you can catch a cold.

What does the sun drink out of?

How is the sun like a black eye?
Both are shiners.

What is the difference between one yard and two yards?
Usually a fence.

Why didn't the hot dog star in the movies?
Because his rolls weren't good enough.

How do you make a hamburger roll?
Take it to a hill and give it a push.

What did one plate say to the other?
Lunch is on me.

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.

Why isn't it safe to tell a secret in a garden?
Because the corn have ears and the beanstalks.

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