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What do you call a grouchy person at the beach?
A sandcrab.

Where do cowboys cook their breakfast?
On the range.

What did the cowboy say to the pencil?
Draw, partner.

Why does a cowboy ride a horse?
Because it's too heavy to carry.

Three men were standing under one umbrella, but no one got wet. How can this be?
It wasn't raining.

A man went to the rocket station and asked for a ticket to the moon.
"Sorry sir," said the attendant, "the moon is full just now."

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A teacher says, "Spit out your gum!" and a train says, "Chew, chew!"

Why did the boy stick a hose in his friend's ear?
He was trying to brainwash him.

Why did the kids wear bathing suits to school?
Because they rode in a carpool.

Why did the kid put his dad in the fridge?
He wanted a cool pop.

Why did the girl go outside with her purse open?
She wanted to see if there was any change in the weather.

Why did the man put sugar on his pillow?
He wanted to have sweet dreams.

What's Irish and sits outside in the summer?
Patio furniture.

Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?
She was on a crash diet

Why do some fishermen use helicopters to catch their morning bait?
Because the whirly-bird catches the worm.

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